My Nemesis

When I was in second grade I stopped writing down my math assignments in my homework planner. I figured if I didn't write it down, I would not have to do it. And somehow math would sort of just disappear from my life.

After a day or two of my mother asking me why I did not have math homework at night and me responding that we "don't have any" (what a deceitful child I must have been!) my teacher scheduled a conference with my parents about why I was not doing my math homework.

The adults looked at me questioningly, accusingly, perplexedly during the conference. "S--, why aren't you writing down your math homework????"  they wondered.

The answer was simple. "Because I don't like it," I responded in my little girl's voice. Psychiatrists could have a field day with this response, especially how it relates to the rest of my life events! Ha! God forbid I should ever have to do something I don't want to do.

Anyway, sadly I had to start doing my math homework. Even though I really really really didn't want to. Also, math did not disappear from my life. Even when I got into my major (English) in college and didn't have to take any more math classes. Even after taking GREs and teacher certification tests. Math was still there. And ladies and gentlemen, even now. MATH IS STILL HERE.

Math is like a rash or a fungus that keeps coming back. I need it to halve a recipe I'm making, to know how much paint to buy for a room, and I even needed it to knit this sweater.

This sweater is not knit from a traditional pattern. It's called the Incredible Custom Fit Raglan. Basically, there's a worksheet that you use in order to calculate how many stitches you need  based on the measurements you've taken. In other words, this is really math-y. There was measuring, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division involved with some fraction work. Even just using the word "worksheet" makes me think of math. Which, in turn, makes my armpits start to sweat.

Somehow I suffered through all of this just fine. It wasn't even that complicated, and I'm really not as bad at math as I like to paint myself. (I remember even enjoying calculus in high school--even getting A's in it). I guess I tend to just shut my brain down at the thought of math because, well, I don't like it  I prefer other things.

The sweater did turn out ok in spite of my math-resistance. The v-neck has a crocheted border; I intended on adding 2x2 ribbing to the neck, but I had to pull it out because it wouldn't fit over C's gigantic head. The color is extremely vibrant in person and was picked out personally by my father for C. It makes me think of lush green grass after a rain. Or leprechauns and pots of gold. Little C. has red hair--a lot like a shiny copper penny. He will look just like a leprechaun when he wears this. He's totally wearing it on St. Patrick's Day.